Urukundo ni ikintu cyakagombye kurangwa n’ibyishimo gusa ariko mu buzima tubamo bijya bibaho ko ruzamo agatotsi gaturutse ku mpamvu runaka gashobora no gutuma abakundanaga batandukana cyane cyane mu mibanire yabo, mu biganiro bagirana ndetse no mu myitwarire ya buri umwe. Muri ibi niho rimwe na rimwe hashobora kuvamo ibyo umusore ashobora kubwira umukobwa azi ko ari byiza nyamara bikamusiga hanze aririra mu myotsi.

Hari ibintu 5 rero umusore usabwa kwitwararikaho ntahirahire abibwira umukobwa bakundana kugira ngo bidasenya urukundo rwabo mu gihe bifuza ko hari ahandi rwabageza nkuko bigaragazwa n’urubuga feminin.com.

Muri ibyo bintu harimo:

Umusore ntagomba kugereranya umukobwa w’incuti ye n’uwo bakundanaga mbere

Irinde akubwira umukobwa mukundana amagambo nk’aya : uwo twakundanaga mbere yari..., aya magambo aramurakaza ku buryo ashobora no gutuma mutandukana, kuko ntaba ashaka ko umugereranya n’uwo mwari kumwe mbere, kabone n’ubwo yaba amuzi cyangwa se hashize igihe kinini mutandukanye, kuko iyo umubwira bene aya magambo amugabanyiriza icyizere cy’uko wibagiwe burundu uwo mwakundanaga mbere.

Umusore agomba kwirinda kubwira umukobwa bakundana ko yabyibushye cyane

Burya ngo abakobwa muri kamere yabo banga ko abasore bakundana babona cyangwa se bababwira ko babyibushye. Kabone n’ubwo waba ubibona cyangwa se nawe abyivugira, aha ngo mureke abe ariwe ubyivugira nabikubaza umubwire ko ari ibisanzwe, ko akingana nk’uko yanganaga mukimenyana, mbese wirinde kubimwemerera.. Kuko ngo iyo ubimwemereye ahita acika intege akumvako ugiye kugabanya uburyo wamwishimiraga.

Musore irinde amagambo ashobora kumvisha umukunzi wawe ko mutari ku rwego rumwe

Igihe umubwira amagambo yo kwishyira hejuru umwereke ko mutari ku rugero rumwe mu bwiza, mu butunzi n’ibindi nk’ibi , uba ushatse kumwereka ko atagukwiye, ibi rero ngo bimuca intege cyane aho ashobora no kwigendera atakugishije inama kuko abona ko umusuzuguye, ko mutazahuza kandi wenda we hari abandi bamukeneye azi.

Si byiza kubwira umukobwa ko udateganya kubaka urugo vuba cyangwa umushidikanyaho ko ushobora kutamuzana

Mugihe uri kumwe mu rukundo n’umukobwa, akenshi aba yifuza ko muzarushinga, rero iyo utajya ubimubwira cyangwa se ukavuga amagambo arimo gushidikanya ko atari we muzabana, ibi bibabaza abakobwa cyane kuko aba yumva ko ushaka kumufata nk’igikinisho ubundi ukamureka, kandi abakobwa bo badakunda guta igihe cyabo mu rukundo hatagamijwe kuzashinga urugo. Kuko iyo umubwira ko udateganya gushinga urugo vuba bimuca intege, akumva ko icyo gihe azaba amaze kugira imyaka myinshi y’ubukure utakimukunze, aho bamwe bahitamo guta bene abo basore bakisangira abafite gahunda. N’ubwo waba ubona utarabyizera neza irinde kubimubwira no kubimugaragariza.

Kumubwira umukunzi wawe ubwoko bw’umukobwa ukunda uko ameze mu gihe uzi ko we atabyujuje na byo si byiza na gato

Aha ngo niba uteruye ikiganiro ukamubwira ko ukunda abakobwa b’inzobe, barebare, bagenda gutya, bateye gutya, n’ibindi byinshi kandi we atariko ari, ibi ngo rwose biri mu biza ku isonga birakaza abakobwa cyane, ku buryo rwose kugumana nawe mu rukundo ahita yumva ko ntacyo bivuze kuri we, kuko aba yumva ko utamukunda, utamwishimira, aho uramutse umwishimira utakagombye kumubwira bene ayo magambo cyangwa se kumubwira ko ukunda ibyo we adafite cyangwa se adashobora kuguha.

Aha bimwereka ko niyo yakora iki ko utazanyurwa, kuko ibyo ukunda atari byo afite agahita acika intege.

Mu gihe rero muri mu rukundo ni byiza ko amagambo avugwa ndetse n’ibiganiro bigarukwaho byagakwiye kujya byitonderwa kuko amagambo cyangwa se ibiganiro by’urucantege bishobora gusenya urukundo.

Alice UMWALI/Umubavu.com

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