Ingingo 10 zagufasha kubaka urugo rugakimera ntimucane inyuma

Abantu benshi bibwira ko iyo bamaze kureshya no kureshywa byanabahira
bagakora ubukwe, bakanyura mu mategeko no mu madini biba bihagije ko
urugo ruba rwamaze kubakwa. Urugo ntirwubakwa nkuko amagorofa yubakwa cyangwa uko benshi bamwe bubaka imibiri yabo bayiha
ibiyikwiye, urugo ni nk’uruhinja, rusaba kwitabwaho no kubungwabungwa
umunsi kuwundi. Aho imibereho y’urugo itandukaniye n’iy’urukundo, ni
uko hari igihe kigera umwana wari uruhinja agakura nawe akiyitaho
cyangwa akirera akibeshaho, urugo rwo rubaho nk’uruhinja kuva umunsi
umugore n’umugabo babaniye kugeza batanyijwe n’urupfu.

Ingo nyinshi zisenyuka kubera impamvu zitandukanye zaba zituruka ku
mugabo cyangwa se ku mugore, ni byiza kumenya uko abashakanye
bakwiriye kubana kugira ngo umunezero ukomeze mu rugo rwabo nk’uko
bajya gushakana babyifuzaga.

Abashakashati batandukanye bagerageje gushyira ahagaragara zimwe mu
nkingi z’ingenzi zakubakirwaho urugo rugakomera, nubwo izo nkingi
zishobora kuba nyinshi cyangwa nke bitewe n’uko zasobanuwe, reka
turebere hamwe inkingi icumi z’ingenzi urugo ruhamye rwakubakiyeho.

Inkingi ya 1: Urukundo

Urukundo si ndagukunda gusa bikarangirira aho, urukundo ntirugomba
kugaragara none ngo ejo rubure cyangwa rugabanuke, Urukundo rugomba
guhoraho hagati y’abashakanye, ahubwo byaba na ngombwa uko
murambana akaba ari nako rugenda rurushaho kwiyongera.
Urukundo ni ikintu gikomeye cyane kandi kigira uruhare runini mugutuma
imibanire ya babiri ikomera, iyo rero rutwawe nabi rugira ingaruka
zikomeye cyane mu mibanire y’abashakanye. Ni byiza rero kwerekana
urukundo hagati y’abashakanye kandi rukaba ari urukundo rw’ukuri.
Urukundo si amagambo kandi si n’ibikorwa gusa, urukundo ni byombi.

Inkingi ya 2: Ukuri

N’iyo mwaba mukundana mute, mwerekana ko umwe muri mwe abuze
undi atabaho, mutagirana ukuri hagati yanyu ntacyo urugo rwanyu rwaba
rushingiyeho. Ntimugomba kuryaryana mu byo mukora byose. Uburyarya

bwica urukundo kandi ntibutinda kugaragara. Biba byiza ubwije mugenzi
wawe ukuri kubyabaye kandi ukiga guca bugufi mu gihe cyose.
Uzasanga benshi mbere yo kubana birarira ku bandi, ukumva umuhungu
yabwiye umukobwa ko atunze imiturirwa, ko akiri ingaragu nyamara disi
hirya iyo ahafite abandi bagore batabarika n’ibindi binyoma bitandukanye.
Urugo rudashingiye ku kuri nta heza rwageza abashakanye, ni byiza
kubwizanya ukuri, mukamenyana byimbitse bikabafasha gufatira hamwe
ingamba zo kunoza ibitagenda no kongera imbaraga mu byiza mwatangiye
ariko binyuze mu kuri.

Inkingi ya 3: Kubabarirana

Kimwe cyo abashakanye bagomba kumenya, ni uko nta muntu udakosa.
Ibi bigomba kubera benshi uburyo bwo kudafata uwaguye mu ikosa
nk’igicibwa.

Kubabarira usanga ari igikorwa gikunze kugora benshi cyane iyo noneho
amakosa yakozwe ari amakosa akomeye. Mu bashakanye kubabarirana ni
inkingi y’ingenzi mu kubaka urugo. Mu gihe ubabarira ukwiye kwirinda
kwigira nkaho wowe uri umutagatifu kandi ukirinda no kwigira
umucamanza, ibyo bizabafasha kugira byinshi mutsinda byakagombye
kubabera intandaro yo kuba mwanatandukana.

Inkingi ya 4: Ibiganiro

Benshi mu bashakanye usanga badafata umwanya wo kwicara ngo
baganire basubize amaso inyuma, barebe iyo bavuye n’iyo bajya. Bitewe
n’imibereho y’ubu, mu ngo nyinshi umugabo azinduka ajya gushakisha
n’umugore akajya gushakisha ku buryo bongera guhura nimugoroba,
bananiwe, baruhuka.

Ingo nyinshi ntizikunze guha agaciro umwanya w’ibiganiro nyamara
birakwiye ko nk’abashakanye mufata igihe mukagirana ikiganiro hagati
yanyu mwiherereye, birakwiye ko umenya ibitekerezo bya mugenzi wawe
kandi nawe ukagira icyo umubwira mu buryo bwo kurushaho gusabana no
gufatira ingamba hamwe. Ingo nyinshi zikunze gusenyuka biturutse ku

kutagira igihe cyo kuganira ngo bacocere ibibazo hamwe, aho usanga
umwe yumva wenda ibivugwa kuri mugenzi we byaba ukuri cyangwa
ibinyoma, akinumira, agashirira iyo, bigakomeza kumubera umutwaro ku
mutima kugeza ubwo birangira babipfuye.

Inkingi ya 5:Ubucuti

Burya mu byagombye kuranga umugore n’umugabo harimo ubucuti.
Ukwiye kuzirikana ko urugo atari gereza ahubwo ari nka paradizo k’uwo
mwashakanye. Niba ubanye na mugenzi wawe, zirikana ko hari ibyo
akunda bitandukanye n’ibyawe, ntiwari ukwiye kumva ko ubwo mubanye
agiye kuba nk’uwo muhanganye, mubanire neza, mugwize urugwiro.
Umugore cyangwa umugabo wese ntakwiriye kuba nyamwigendaho mu
rugo kandi afite uwo bashakanye babana kandi bafatanije inshingano
z’urugo, iyo umwe mu bashakanye yitwaye gutyo bituma umugabo we
atiyumvamo umumaro n’agaciro amufitiye, bityo ugasanga babanye
nk’abataziranye, umunezero w’urugo ntugende uko bikwiye, ibi kandi
bituma habaho kutuzuzanya ku bijyanye no gukemura ibibazo by’urugo.
Gerageza kurenga iby’umugore n’umugabo mu mibanire nk’abavandimwe
cyangwa inshuti magara ntunsige. Ubaka ikizere kuri mugenzi wawe kandi
ugabanye gufuha. Yego ntukwiye guterera iyo, ariko wikabya. Reka
mugenzi wawe agire igihe cyo gukora ibyo yumva bimugwa neza;
wimubera inzitizi, mubere inshuti.

Inkingi 6: Guseka

Hari abantu benshi mu ngo baba bameze nk’inyamaswa, badakozwa
iby’urwenya no guseka. Ese ujya uzirikana uko byaba binejeje igihe wowe
n’uwawe mugira igihe cyo gutera urwenya maze mugaseka ? Burya inseko
yeruye igira ibibazo byinshi ikemura kandi izana n’akanyamuneza.
Wishaka kubaho umeze nk’impyisi mahuma, gerageza usetse uwo
mwashakanye, umubwire udukuru dutuma asusuruka. Ibi bizatuma ahora
iteka agukumbura bityo birusheho kumutera kukwiyumvamo.

Abagore benshi burya bakunda ubasetsa, niba wowe mugabo udasetsa uwo
mwashakanye ibaze uko bizagenda nahura n’undi umusetsa.

Inkingi ya 7: Ubufatanye

Ubufatanye ni bwo bwonyine buzatuma urugo rwanyu rutera imbere.
Gisha inama mugenzi wawe mu mishinga uteganya yazamura urugo
rwanyu kandi mwembi mufatikanye mu kuyishyira mu bikorwa. Zirikana
ko inkingi imwe itagera inzu.

Urugo si urw’umugabo gusa kimwe nk’uko rutari urw’umugore nawe
gusa. Si ngombwa ko hagira uwiyumva nk’urenze undi mu rugo, bivuze
ko ntawukwiye kujya mu birere ngo yumve ko ari we ufite ijambo
n’umwanzuro wa nyuma ku bikorwa byose mu rugo yitwaje ko ari
nyirarwo.

Mu gihe mu rugo habuze ubufatanye, nta bwuzuzanye bwahaboneka.
Urugo nk’urwo nta terambere rugeraho, n’iyo ubufatanye bubuze hari
ibyari byaragezweho ntibitinda kuyoyoka.

Inkingi ya 8: Kubwirana amabanga

Ntako bisa iyo abashakanye babwizanya ukuri, hakiyongeraho kubwirana
amabanga buri umwe abitse ku mutima we. Nubikora, bizagufasha kubaka
icyizere gikomeye kuri mugenzi wawe. Gusa ibi bikunze gukomerera
benshi kuko uba usa n’uwitanze wese ukiha mugenzi wawe, gusa nta we
byakagoye kuko burya umugabo n’umugore baba bahindutse umuntu
umwe. Nta mpamvu yuko ibiri mu mutima wundi byakabaye ibihishwe
undi.

Inkingi ya 9: Kwakirana

Kwemera kwakira mugenzi wawe uko ari kose ni imwe mu nkingi
ikomeye mu zikomeza urugo. Ni ngombwa kowakira mugenzi wawe uko
ari kose. Ntukwiye kugerageza kumuhindura uko wumva wowe yagakwiye
kumera ahubwo murekere uko ari, umwemere utyo, ubimukundire kandi
ubimushimire. Gusa mugihe ubona umuhinduye byashoboka bikarushaho
kugirira urugo rwanyu inyungu wabikora, mugihe byananiranye
ntibyatuma umuta kandi ari nk’urugingo rwawe, ugomba kubyakira.

Uku kwakirana kandi gutanga amahoro mu rugo kuko buri wese aba azi
undi, ntawubangamira undi, ntawubera undi ikibazo. Sibyiza kwereka
umugabo wawe cyangwa umugore wawe ko ubana n’umuntu udashobotse
mu buryo bumwe cyangwa ubundi .Ituze n’amahoro mu rugo biri mu
bibatangira ubuhamya mu nshuti, mu baturanyi no mu muryango.

Inkingi ya 10: Imibonano mpuzabitsina

Ingo nyinshi muri iki gihe zihangayikishijwe n’ikibazo cy’imibonano
mpuzabitsina kandi kiri gutuma ingo zimwe na zimwe zisenyuka. Ni
ngombwa rero kwita kuri iyi ngingo maze ukamenya uko ukwiye kunoza
uburyo ubonanamo n’uwo mwashakanye kugira ngo ejo atavaho agucika
agatangira kujya gushaka abandi bamunezeza kurusha uko ubikora kandi
nawe ubishoboye.

Menya gushyiramo udushya, wige uburyo bunezeza uwo mwashakanye,
umenye neza gushima ahamurya kandi ukoreshe uko ushoboye
umushimishe kurusha undi wese wabigerageza kugira ngo
atazakugereranya n’abandi agasanga wowe ntacyo ushoboye, aho
kumuryohereza umubihiriza.





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