Menya ibintu 17 ukwiye kwitaho niba ugiye gutereta bwa mbere

Urukundo ni kimwe mu bintu by’ iza biryohera benshi ku isi gusa kurwinjiramo biragorana kubona aho uhera kuko ni kimwe no gutangira ikindi kintu cyose utamenyereye.

Umusore ugiye gutereta bwa mbere aba afite urwikekwe kuko aba atizeye neza niba uwo agiye gusaba urukundo ari bwakire ubwo busabe. Urubuga elcrema rugaragaza inama zimwe na zimwe z’uburyo umusore akwiriye gutangira ikiganiro cye aganiriza inkumi.

1.Ntukwiye kwirengagiza kumusuhuza: Ijambo “mwiriwe” (Hi) ni ijambo ryoroheje ariko rifite imbaraga.

2.Reba ikintu kiri hafi yanyu gifite agaciro mu kivugeho kuko ni uburyo bwiza bwo gutangira ikiganiro.

3. Ugomba kuba uzi amakuru ya vuba arimo kuvugwaho cyane cyangwa amakuru yerekeye ibyamamare kugira ngo uze kubitangiriraho cyangwa bibe byagufasha igihe ibyo kuganira bibaye bike dore ko akenshi iyo abantu bahuye bwambere ntabyo kuvuga byinshi baba bafite.

4.Kora ku buryo uwo mukobwa muri kumwe aza kuguha ibitekerezo. Biba byiza iyo muri kumwe n’umuntu mukaganira mukagira ibyo mwemeranyaho n’ibyo mutemeranyaho, aho ni ho ikiganiro kiba cyatangiye kuryoha.

5. Ugomba kuba wifitemo inkuru zisetsa ukamuganiriza umusetsa mu gihe muri kumwe.

6. Muganirize ku bijyanye n’uburinganire , uzasanga abantu benshi iyo bageze kuri iyi ngingo birekura bakavuga bikanatuma umenya icyo abitekerezaho ari nako ikiganiro kirushaho gukomeza.

7. Mugurire ikintu cyo kunywa igihe mugikomeje kuganira. Birumvikana ko iyo umuntu ashonje ashobora gucika intege mu kiganiro. Iyo abonye ko umwitayeho arushaho kugira murare ikiganiro kikarushaho kuryoha no kutamurambira.

8. Reba ikintu kiri kuri we umubwire ko ari cyiza cyangwa ko wagikunze (Complimenting her) urebe n’uburyo abyakira, ariko akenshi biramushimisha.

9. Tangira uterete kandi ushyiremo imbaraga umunsi ku munsi

Ibi bivuze ko niba utangiye gutereta, waganiriza umukobwa umunsi wa mbere bikakugendekera neza naho umunsi wa kabiri bikanga ntabwo ugomba guhita ucika intege ahubwo icyo ugomba kureba ni uburyo wakoresheje umwegera (approaches) byaba na ngombwa ukaba wahindura. Gerageza uhindure uburyo; wenda niba waramusanze iwabo, ku ncuro ya kabiri reba uko mwaganira mwasohokeye ahantu hakeye hatari ahabonetse bose.

10. Hitamo ijwi uzajya umuganirizamo

Kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rukure ugomba kumenya uburyo uzajya uganiriza umukunzi wawe ndetse n’ijwi uzajya ukoresha kugira ngo umwereke ko uri inshuti idasanzwe cyangwa se y’umwihariko. Muri iryo jwi ryiza riyunguruye niho uzerekanira agaciro kawe ndetse n’iyo mwaba mwari musanzwe muziranye bizatuma ahindura uburyo yagufataga ahite yumva ko hari icyahindutse.

11. Ugomba kubaka ubucuti bwanyu ku buryo budasanzwe

Mu gihe urebye inkumi ukabona yakubera inshuti ugomba kuyereka ko umukeneyeho ubucuti mu buryo butandukanye n’ubusanzwe; ni ukuvuga ko ugomba kumuha umwanya ukamwereka ko umwitayeho, ukamuganiriza ibintu bituma atakurambirwa. Gerageza kugenda umwereka udushya, umukorere ibintu atakekagaga ko wamukorera umunsi ku munsi kuva utangiye gahunda yawe yo kumutereta.

12. Banza umwereke ko wamubera inshuti bisanzwe mbere yo kumwereka ko wamubera umukunzi (Boyfriend)

Ikintu kijya kigora abahungu ni uburyo bwo gukurura abakobwa mu gihe barimo gutereta. Mbere yo gutangira umubwira ko yakubera inshuti idasanzwe banza byibura unamwereke ko wamubera inshuti no mu buzima busanzwe (ubuzima bwa buri munsi) kuko aba asanzwe abana n’abahungu benshi. Gerageza umwereke ko hari ikintu utandukaniyeho n’abandi ahora abona cyangwa abana nabo, mbese umwereke ubucuti nyabwo.

13. Ugomba kwikuramo ubwoba

Impamvu ugomba kwikuramo ubwoba ni uko ushobora kuba ufite amafaranga, uri mwiza, ureba neza, uri umuntu w’icyamamare ahantu utuye, ariko ukaba wabura umukobwa wagira incuti kubera gutinya kumubwira akakuri ku mutima. Ikindi kandi ubwoba butuma umuntu atigirira icyizere no mu buzima busanzwe, bikaba bishobora kugusubiza inyuma mu byo ukora.

14. Menya uburyo wegera umukobwa n’uburyo umubwira ko umukunda

Hari bamwe mu basore bagenda bagahita babwira abakobwa ko babakunda gutyo gusa bagasa n’ababibatura hejuru batabanje kubateguza. Ugomba gushaka umwanya uhagije n’uburyo bwo kubivugamo niba ushaka ko icyifuzo cyawe cyakirwa neza. Nta bwo ari byiza kugenda ugahita ubwira umukobwa ngo “ndagukunda”,geregeza ushake uburyo bwiza wamubwiramo ko umukunda aho kuza ubimutura hejuru kuko ashobora gukeka ko utabikomeje.
Ugomba kandi kumenya ibihe umukobwa arimo kuko ushobora kumusaba urukundo ari mu bihe bibi bigatuma atabyitaho; urumva rero ko ugomba kubanza guperereza ukamenya niba ari mu bihe bye byiza byamufasha kwakira icyifuzo cyawe kandi akacyitaho.

15. Umukobwa naguhakanira bwa mbere ntuzacike intege

Abakobwa akenshi bagira isoni kuburyo atapfa guhita avuga yego. Naguhakanira ku munsi wa mbere ntuzahite ucika intege ngo wumve ko byarangiye. Iki ni ikintu cy’ingenzi niba ushaka kubona umukunzi, ugomba gukomeza kugerageza amahirwe yawe kuko abakobwa benshi ntibajya bemerera umuntu ubucuti ku nshuro ya mbere.
Ugomba gukomeza kumwereka ko uri umugabo, ugakomeza ugahatiriza, amaherezo azagera aho abone ko umukunda utapfuye kubivuga gusa wikinira maze bimwereke ko umukunda by’ukuri nawe abonereho. Ariko naguhakanira bwa mbere ugahita ucika intege akabona ntugarutse, azabona ko utamukundaga ahubwo wamukinishaga.

16. Mwereke ibyiza afite ku mubiri we ariko wirinde gushyiramo amakabyankuru
Iyo ubwiye umukobwa ibyiza afite ku mubiri ugakabya hari ubwo wisanga wavuze n’ibyo we azi ko atari byiza bikaba byatuma abifata nko kumunnyega. Vuga ibyo ubona wirinde kurenza urugero.

Niba umukobwa afite amaso meza cyangwa urundi rugingo rwiza ku mubiri we bimubwire kandi umubwire ko ubikunda. Urugero: Mubwire ko ukunda inseko ye niba aseka neza bikagushimisha; ibi bizatuma abona ko umwitaho, ko ubona igihe cyo kwicara ukamureba ukamwitegereza ndetse ukanamutekereza.

17. Musezereho umugurira akandi kantu akeneye cyangwa ikinyobwa yifuza

Ibi bitekerezo si byo kamara ku bijyanye no kuganiriza umukobwa ku nshuro ya mbere, kuko buri muntu wese agira uburyo bwe, nawe ushobora kuba uzi uko ubigenza, wabisangiza abandi unyuze aho batangira ibitekerezo ku nkuru kugira ngo urusheho kungura abandi ubwo bumenyi.

Madamu Ingabire Victoire, umunyapolitiki utavuga rumwe n’ubutegetsi buriho mu Rwanda abwije ukuri Inteko, avuga n’aho abona u Rwanda rugeze muri Demokarasi n’amanota yaruha:





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