Impamvu ziri gutuma abagore b’iki gihe bata ingo zabo bakishakira insoresore cyangwa abandi bagabo

Uri iki gihe usanga aho abantu b’igitsina gabo bateraniye bavuga ko imyubakire y’ingo za none igoye aho usanga zimwe na zimwe hari ibyo zituvugaho rumwe ndetse no gucana inyuma bikaba bikunze kugaragara ahatari hake. Kuri ubu twabazaniye zimwe mu mpamvu nyamukuru zituma abagore bari guca abagabo babo inyuma ku buryo bukabije.

Iwaculive ni kimwe mu binyamakuru bikorera mu Rwanda hari impamvu cyagaragaje ziri gutuma abagore batubaka neza ingo zabo

1. Kutumva kimwe ibijyanye no gutera akabariro

Nkuko iwaculive.com babivuga mugore ashobora guca inyuma umugabo we kubera ko atabasha kumushimisha nk’uko byakabaye aribyo bikunze kwitwa gupfuba. Nk’uko ijambo ribivuga rero, ngo umugore apfuba iyo umugabo atabashije kumugeza ku byishimo bye bya nyuma mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, bityo nyamugore agahitamo kujya gushaka undi wamukemurira ikibazo.

2. Ingeso

Bijya bibaho rero ko umugore aba afite ingeso y’ubushurashuzi kubera ko n’ubundi aba yarashatse umugabo ari inararikoze maze ingeso ikanga akumva umugabo we wenyine ntabasha kumumara ipfa biyo akajya yishakira abandi ku ruhande. Mu mpamvu zose iyi niyo ikomeye kuko ntago byoroshye ko umugore uca inyuma umugabo we kubw’ingeso yabireka burundu.

3. Gukabya gukunda ibigezweho/ Iraha

Abagore n’abakobwa benshi bakunze gukunda bikabije ibyamamare mu buryo butandukanye cyangwa abagabo/abasore biyubashye mu buryo bugiye butandukanye. Icyo gihe rero ngo usanga niba umugore abonye umuririmbyi cyangwa umukinnyi w’icyamamare yifuza kuryamana nawe ndetse ngo akumva ari iby’igiciro kuri we atitaye ku kuba afite umugabo bashakanye cyangwa umukunzi bateganya kurushinga. Ibi ngo bikaba bikunze kugaragara ku bagore batuye mu migi aho baba bahura n’ibyamamare bitandukanye.

4. Kwihimura

Iyo umugabo afite ingeso yo guca inyuma umugore we, ngo umugore nawe ashobora kumuca inyuma mu rwego rwo kwihimura. Si ukumuca inyuma gusa ariko kuko ngo n’umugabo utaha ashiha umugore we, akamutuka akamwereka ko nta gaciro afite imbere ye cyangwa akamuhemukira mu bundi buryo bwose butuma ababara cyane, ibi nabyo ngo bishobora gutuma nyamugore amuca inyuma kuko n’urukundo aba amufitiye rugenda rugabanuka bityo yanamubona akumva ntamwishimye.

5. Kudateteshwa no kuburirwa umwanya

Kimwe mu bintu abagore bakunda ku bagabo babo harimo no guteteshwa no kubaha umwanya wo kubitaho. Ni ngombwa ko umugabo yereka umugore we ko amukunda kandi amuzirikana, akamukorera utuntu tumushimisha bityo akamuhoza mu nkingi z’umutima we kuburyo atarota na gato amuca inyuma. Agomba kandi kuzirikanako umugore we aba amukeneye, bakagirana ibihe bari kumwe ntagende gusa ngo atwarwe n’akazi. Ibi iyo bitabaye rero ngo usanga mu gihe umugore abonye undi mugabo umutetesha ku ruhande atazuyaza kumuha ikibanza mu mutima we maze ukazasanga niwe yifuza kwiryamanira nawe.

6. Kumva asuzuguwe

Umugore akunda kumva ko yubashywe nk’umutima w’urugo, akaba atandukanye n’umukozi wo mu rugo, umuboyi cyangwa undi muntu uciriritse. Niba umugabo afata umugore akamusuzuguza umukozi, akamwereka ko nta kamaro afite mu rugo, nta muhe umwanya na muto wo kwifatira icyemezo nk’umuntu mukuru n’ibindi byinshi bimwereka ko nta gaciro ahabwa n’umugabo we...Nta gushidikanya umugore azaca inyuma uwo mugabo mu gihe azaba abonye umusore cyangwa umugabo wundi umwereka ko ari uw’igiciro kandi amufatiye runini, yumve aramwishimiye bityo yishimire no kuba yakorana imibonano mpuzabitsina nawe kurusha umugabo we.

7. Kuterekwa igikundiro afite

Abasore benshi bakunda gushimagiza abakobwa mu gihe bagikundana ariko batararushinga. Nyuma yo kubana rero usanga baterera iyo kandi nyamara umugore aba akeneye ngo umugabo amubwire ko ari mwiza, nibasohokana amubwire ko yaberewe, ko yambaye neza n’ibindi nk’ibyo. Ni na ngombwa ko ugaragariza umugore wawe ko uko ateye n’ubwiza afite bituma umwifuza iteka bityo akumva ko yshinze imizi mu mutima wawe. Ibi iyo bitabayeho, nibwo usanga ahura n’abazi icyo gukora bakamwereka bwa bwiza bwe, cya kimero na cya gikundiro cye maze akabasamira hejuru bakamwigarurira.

8. Kurambirwa/guharurukwa uburyo mukora bwo gutera akabariro

Mu gihe umugabo n’umugore bari gutera akabariro, ni ngombwa ko hari ibintu bagenda bahindura kugirango ibyishimo birusheho kubataha bombi. Niba rero babikora mu buryo budahinduka(he same position ; the same setting ; the same person) nibwo uzasanga nyamugore abiharurukwa akajya gushaka itandukaniro ahandi, cyane ko na bagenzi be bashobora kumuganirira ibyabo we agasanga yaratanzwe.

9. Guca amarenga yo gutandukana

Mu gihe umugore yumva umugabo we atakimugera ku mutima kuburyo yifuza no gutandukana nawe ntashobora kwerura ngo abimubwire imbonankubone, ahubwo nta kindi azakora kitari ukumuca inyuma. Umugore atangira kwihangisha ingeso y’ubushurashuzi, akumva aho gutandukana yajya amuca inyuma bikarangirira aho. Hari ubwo birenga urugero rero agatangira no kujya abikorera mu rugo rw’umugabo bisa nkaho ari ugushotorana.

10. Kutihangana

Ibi bikunze kugaragara ku bagore bafite abagabo bakunze kuba kure yabo kubera impamvu z’akazi. Bikaba bikunze kuvugwa ko umugabo wese ugiye mu butumwa bw’akazi bw’igihe kirekire aba ashobora gusanga abandi bararutashye. Umugore wamenyereye ko umugabo we amukemurira ikibazo(mu gutera akabariro) igihe cyose abyifuje biba bimusaba kwihangana guhambaye mu gihe umugabo we amaze igihe batabonana agahitamo kumuca inyuma, dore ko akenshi usanga n’abo bagore bavuga ngo ntibakwizera ko n’umugabo aho ari yiraza.

Alice Umwali/Umubavu.com



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