Amabanga yafasha umugore gushimisha umugabo we mu gutera akabariro

Kugira ngo urugo rw’abashakanye rwubakwe neza hasabwa ibintu byinshi, kimwe muri byo gifatwa nk’inkingi ya mwaba ni ukunyurwa kuri buri wese mu gihe cyo gutera akabariro. Umunyarwanda we yagize ati " ubwenge burarahurwa" bityo niba rero uri umugore wifuza kwitwara neza mu buriri ugafasha umugabo wawe kwishima ni ngombwa ko buri gihe wagakwiye kwiga ku kintu gishyashya wamukorera kugira ngo bibagendekere neza mu buriri.

Mu bijyanye n’amabanga y’abashakanye, bisaba guhora wiyungura ubumenyi buri munsi bugamije kugira ngo igikorwa cyagushimishaga kitazasigara kikururira.
Mu nkuru y’urubuga elcrema berekana ko nubwo imibonano mpuzabitsina igirwamo uruhare n’umugabo n’umugore ariko biba byiza iyo hari amabanga umugore yamenye yatuma icyo gikorwa kigenda neza kurushaho.
Amwe muri ayo mabanga umugore agomba kuba azi harimo aya akurikira :

1. Umugabo aba afite icyoba mu buriri

Umugabo burya uko yaba ameze kose aba afite icyoba cyangwa guhuzagurika mu buriri yibaza niba ari bubashe gushimisha umugore bari kumwe.
Ibanga ugomba kumenya nk’umugore, ni ukumufasha igikorwa mwese mukakigiramo uruhare ntumutererane kuko amaherezo ubihirwa nawe.
Umugabo utabashije gushimisha umugore mu buriri arababara, bikamutera ipfunwe akaba yajya no kwihisha igihe amubonye, ni byiza ko rero ko wajya umufasha bikagenda neza.

2. Umugabo aba ashaka ko umubwira uko igikorwa kirimo kugenda

Buri mugabo mu buriri aba ashaka kuba igihangange, aba ashaka gushimisha umugore kurenza undi muntu uwo ariwe wese bahuye mbere ye.
Mu gihe rero cyo gutera akabariro, aba yiteze ko wowe mugore umubwira ukanamushimira uko igikorwa kirimo kugenda kugira ngo arusheho kugira akanyabugabo no gukora neza kurenzaho.

3. Bwira umugabo wawe ko ateye neza ukimubona

Abagabo bashobora kugira ipfunwe ry’imiterere yabo y’umubiri cyangwa ibiro byinshi cyangwa bike, uburebure cyangwa ubugufi, uburyo ateye inyuma (physical appareance) n’ibindi, iyo rero afite ipfunwe ashobora kudakora neza igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro.
Ni byiza ko wowe mugore umutinyura ukamwereka ko ateye mu buryo wowe ukunda ibyo bimufasha kuzuza inshingano ze neza mu buriri.

4. Kutamuca inyuma

Umugabo wese yanga byimazeyo, umugore umuca inyuma niyo we yaba abikora.
Iyo rero umugabo wawe aziko umuca inyuma bimutera umutima mubi, igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro ntagikore mu buryo nawe bugushimisha bigasa nko kurangiza umugenzo.

Umugore wese agomba kumenya ko kugira ngo imibonano mpuzabitsina igende neza ari uko agomba kuba adaca inyuma umugabo we yaba anabikora (uretse ko uyu muco utemewe ukwiye no gucika) umugabo we ntabimenye kuko nibwo bose babasha gushimishanya ntawe ucyeka undi amababa.

Ni ahanyu rero bagore kandi turizera ko nimukurikiza izi nama mugiriwe muzabasha gushimisha abagabo banyu ubundi urukundo rusagambe mu rugo rwanyu ndetse n’amahoro ahinde.

Alice UMWALI/Umubavu.com



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