Menya uko guca imyeyo/gukuna hari icyo bishobora gufasha umugore mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina

Hari abantu benshi usanga bajya impaka mu kwibaza niba koko umugore wakunnye/waciye imyego hari icyo bishobora gufasha mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina n’uwo bashakanye aha ugasanga bamwe bavuga ko bituma umugore anyara cyangwa se azana amavangingo menshi nyamara abandi ntibabikozwe bakanabihakana bivuye inyuma.

Igikorwa cyo guca imyeyo cyangwa se gukuna ni umuco wakorerwaga abana b’abakobwa bageze mu kigero myaka y’ubwangavu kuva kuri 12 cyangwa 13, bakabikora mu rwego rwo kubategura kugirango bazageze igihe cyo gushaka banezeze abagabo babo mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina.

N’ubu hari abakifitemo uyu muco wo guca imyeyo rimwe na rimwe ugasanga bamwe bibuka kubikora ari uko bageze mu rwabo bagasanga abagabo bazi iby’umuco, yamubaza ati kuki utakunnye akabura icyo asubiza, bugacya ajya gushaka umufasha.

Usanga benshi bitiranya uku guca imyeyo no kunyara k’umugore mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, hibazwa ibi bibazo bikurikira : Ese iyo umugore yaciye imyeyo ntaba ananyara mu gihe cy’imibonano ? Ese ko umugore wanjye ataciye imyeyo buriya namara kuyica ntazajya anazana amavangingo, ko ntaciye imyeyo se ubu nzajya nzana amavangingo nimara kurongorwa,(…)

Aha ho igisubizo ni uko ari ukwibeshya cyane, kuko guca imyeyo ntibivuze ko nukora imibonano mpuzabitsina uzanahita uzana amavangingo, ni ibintu bibiri bitandukanye ariko binashobora kuzuzanya bitewe n’umubiri w’umuntu.
Yego umugore waciye imyeyo aryoshya imibonano mpuzabitsina ariko ntibivuze ko ari nako ahita azana amavangingo, kuko no kunyaza bisaba ubundi buhanga hagati y’abakorana imibonano.

Ikindi kandi ushobora no kuzana ayo mavangingo kandi utaraciye imyeyo, kuko nk’uko bitangajwe haruguru bisaba kuba muzi uko banyaza, pozisiyo nziza ifasha umugore kunyara ndetse no kubifatira akanya mutegurana.

Ese abagore bose baranyara ?

Mbere na mbere wowe mugabo banza ubwawe wikure mu mutwe ko umugore atanyara. Wemere ko anyara kandi ko niba atanyara azanyara nimumara kubimenyera no kubigerageza inshuro nyinshi kandi wige kunyaza kuko umugore ntapfa kunyara aranyazwa.

Umugore na we agomba kwikuramo ko atanyara.Iyo utangiye uvuga ko utanyara bishobora gutuma bikugora kunyara, iby’igitsina ni ibintu bikorerwa mu bwonko. Urage rero wigenzura mu mitekerereze kuko uko umuntu yitekereza ni ko aba ari, kuko nta mugore utanyara ahubwo ibinyare bazana nibyo bitangana, ashobora kuzana duke wowe ntunatubone n’amaso yawe.

Kunyaza ntabwo byoroshye nko kubivuga mu rurimi.Ni ngombwa kumenya kubikora kugira ngo ushimishanye n’uwo mubikorana,iyo bidashobotse ashobora kujya kubihiga aho akeka ko yabibona, umubano ukaba wakwangirika kubera ubuswa.

Mbere yo kunyaza mugomba kubanza mukitegura ,mukaganira neza,mugakuraho inzitizi izo ari zo zose zatuma mudakundana cyane ku buryo mwimariranamo.
Nta mugore n’umwe utagira amavangingo ahubwo ashobora kuyabura bitewe n’uko afunze cyangwa se umugabo we akaba atazi kunyaza. Gukuna rero ntibivuze ko umugore agomba kuzana amavangingo ahubwo bishobora kumufasha kugira ububobere mu gitsina naho kunyara bikaba akazi k’umugabo n’ubufatanye bw’umugore mu gikorwa cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Alice Umwali/Umubavu.com



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